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ROMANCE MATHEMATICS |
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Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy |
OFFICE ARITHMETIC |
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Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime |
SHOPPING MATH |
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A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need. |
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS |
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A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. |
HAPPINESS |
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To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. |
LONGEVITY |
| Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die. |
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE |
| A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. |
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE |
| A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. |
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING |
| Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in
the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. |
(email 2004-10-26, Ken O)
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| Copyright © 2002-2009 J&P Group. All rights reserved. | ||